love: what is it good for?
I may regret saying this, simply because I hate going back on my word, but I've come to a conclusion. As radical as it may seem, I don't want a relationship. There, I said it. For a 21-year-old, that shouldn't be such an outrageous statement to make, but it seems like it is. It's just presumed that everyone wants to be in a relationship unless they say otherwise. So, this is me saying otherwise.
I came to this conclusion for many reasons, some of which include the fact that everyone annoys me, I hate emotions and I don't like sharing my food. But more than anything, it's because I'm too busy. Now, when I say I'm busy, please don't imagine I'm talking about my hectic social life that keeps me rushed off my feet, because my social life is somewhat malnourished. What I mean is, I'm busy with myself. I think everyone lives in their own little world and I'm rather busy in my own at the moment. If someone were to come into my little world and want to be part of it, that would mean a whole shift in the order of things to allow room for them. And honestly, why would I want to do that?
Too often, relationships change things. From what I've understood at my admittedly premature age, people can lose who they are in relationships because they become consumed. They do things they otherwise would never do, and they stop doing the things they used to love doing. How can one person have so much power over the course of someone's life? If anything, it's terrifying.
Cher once said that men are like dessert; they're nice to have but you don't need them to live. I find this applicable to relationships too. They shouldn't be the main course, but the dessert, or the starter. And yes, everyone loves starters and desserts, but you don't order them without the main course. (and if you do, you're a weirdo and I hope you get help.) Relationships should be an extra part of your life, not the whole part. That's why when relationships end, people feel so lost. If you attach yourself to someone else, when they leave they'll take a part of you with them. Although it's easy to say 'oh I won't get lost in them', it's the same as saying 'I can swim out into the ocean without getting swept up by the tide.' Your intentions can be right but sometimes things happen that are out of your power, and suddenly the people that swore they would never be blinded by love are the same people doing exactly that.
Now, I know this all sounds very bitter, and it's probably just the elderly cat-lady living inside my brain, but the only relationships I think people should accept are ones that benefit them without consuming them. In an ideal situation, a relationship would be someone coming into your life and not changing anything. To have the benefits of love, affection, and support without having to compromise who you are or the way your life was before that person entered it. Sadly, I know this outlook is naive. Relationships are as much about compromise and sacrifice as they are about love and affection. This is exactly why I don't want one.
Maybe I'll change my mind, and maybe I won't. All I know is that life has given me enough examples of bad relationships that I've been completely turned off the idea by the age of 21. When I was little, I thought my 20s would be the time when I'm young, dumb and in love. Turns out I'm just young, dumb and out of love, and very content that way.
I came to this conclusion for many reasons, some of which include the fact that everyone annoys me, I hate emotions and I don't like sharing my food. But more than anything, it's because I'm too busy. Now, when I say I'm busy, please don't imagine I'm talking about my hectic social life that keeps me rushed off my feet, because my social life is somewhat malnourished. What I mean is, I'm busy with myself. I think everyone lives in their own little world and I'm rather busy in my own at the moment. If someone were to come into my little world and want to be part of it, that would mean a whole shift in the order of things to allow room for them. And honestly, why would I want to do that?
Too often, relationships change things. From what I've understood at my admittedly premature age, people can lose who they are in relationships because they become consumed. They do things they otherwise would never do, and they stop doing the things they used to love doing. How can one person have so much power over the course of someone's life? If anything, it's terrifying.
Cher once said that men are like dessert; they're nice to have but you don't need them to live. I find this applicable to relationships too. They shouldn't be the main course, but the dessert, or the starter. And yes, everyone loves starters and desserts, but you don't order them without the main course. (and if you do, you're a weirdo and I hope you get help.) Relationships should be an extra part of your life, not the whole part. That's why when relationships end, people feel so lost. If you attach yourself to someone else, when they leave they'll take a part of you with them. Although it's easy to say 'oh I won't get lost in them', it's the same as saying 'I can swim out into the ocean without getting swept up by the tide.' Your intentions can be right but sometimes things happen that are out of your power, and suddenly the people that swore they would never be blinded by love are the same people doing exactly that.
Now, I know this all sounds very bitter, and it's probably just the elderly cat-lady living inside my brain, but the only relationships I think people should accept are ones that benefit them without consuming them. In an ideal situation, a relationship would be someone coming into your life and not changing anything. To have the benefits of love, affection, and support without having to compromise who you are or the way your life was before that person entered it. Sadly, I know this outlook is naive. Relationships are as much about compromise and sacrifice as they are about love and affection. This is exactly why I don't want one.
Maybe I'll change my mind, and maybe I won't. All I know is that life has given me enough examples of bad relationships that I've been completely turned off the idea by the age of 21. When I was little, I thought my 20s would be the time when I'm young, dumb and in love. Turns out I'm just young, dumb and out of love, and very content that way.
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