Taboo subjects in children's books

The world of children’s books is generally full of all things wonderful, expanding the possibilities of reality and, in turn, expanding children’s imaginations; tales of talking animals, children who can fly, and magical powers. Limits don’t exist and absolutely anything goes. Doesn’t it all seem so lovely?

As lovely as it may be, we’d be stupid not to see it as a filtered version of events. They create another universe where the fun never stops, and as too many adults know, this just isn’t the case for reality. It’s a shame, it really is, because I would love to live in Neverland and never have to do my laundry or pay taxes.

There are so many elements of life that are missing in children’s books. Now, I’m not proposing someone should write a children’s book on how to pay taxes, because if anything we should let them enjoy their tax-free life as long as they can. But the way that censorship is common to children from such a young age implies that there are parts of life that they do not have to worry about, which is not the case.

Children experience so many things that adults do, such as grief, abuse, sexism, racial profiling and mental health issues. As a big believer in the fact that the books children read have an impact on their lives, I find it bizarre that more books of these topics aren’t encouraged.

Censorship of any sort baffles me; the idea that shielding ourselves off from certain uglies in the world somehow protects us from them and makes us better people is one that is lost on me. Yes, some things are hard to talk about, especially with young people, but surely that is all the more reason to talk about them; to make them easier to handle.

I spoke to a family member who has two small children, and she told me she preferred books for her kids without any hard-hitting subject matters. When I asked her why, she simply didn’t know, other than that’s what every other mother she knows has done. But does censoring children from these subjects protect their youth, or does it just make the eventual occurrence of these themes all the more difficult to understand?

Although, I am not a parent. I have never bought books for mine or anyone else’s child, and I have never had to consider whether I am helping them understand trying matters or boring them with books about death. Marina Warner made the point that there is a culture of something she called “nostalgic worship of childhood innocence”, which I believe is a contributing factor in parents’ choice of books for their child. It is expected that a parent would look at their child as a pinnacle of youth and innocence, and it is almost their duty to preserve this, out of the selfish desire to relive one’s own youth. But again, I am not a parent, so this is just my 21-year-old brain trying it’s best. If you are a parent reading this, don’t hate me.

It seems bizarre that some of these things are even considered taboo, as they are things that are a big part of the adult world. Sam Martin talked about a book he discovered when he was transitioning, that helped him through the process. He told the New York Times, “When I was growing up, I never saw people like me in movie or books.” Sam brings up an important point about inclusivity. To look at the people in the media, and then look at yourself and only see the differences as negative is an awfully harmful mindset that leaves children confused and in an inevitable spiral of self-hatred. Feeling different, and in turn isolated, for a child is such a difficult situation to process. Being exposed to material that reinforces ideals of self-love and positivity are a step in the right direction in helping kids who feel like the odd one out, because things can escalate quickly for a child, but if they are equipped with the right knowledge, they will have a much more developed sense of self. This is why it is so important that writers have created books that focus on such topics. Sam Martin said his “goal was to write stories that would have helped me feel less alone at that age.”

And of course, there are some great books aimed at children that introduce these taboo subjects, such Michael Rosen’s Sad Book, which he wrote about dealing with grief after he lost his young son, and Jayneen Sanders’ No Means No, that discusses personal boundaries and consent, which are both important subject matters to discuss with children. Avoiding talking about them doesn’t mean the child won’t encounter them and getting them to read about such things to avoid any confusion will most likely aid their understanding if they did encounter these things.

Literature can play a big part in a child’s life if it’s used well. Yes, these topics are daunting to talk about and aren’t always perceived well, which is why books can be so handy in these situations; it’s a fun way to engage a child in education that will help them understand the world around them. As adults, we think we know the world and all it has to offer. But remember when you were a child and, for example, you experienced grief for the first time, or questioned your sexuality, or were treated differently because of who you are. Just think how those situations could be handled if the child knew about them before they ever encountered them. There would be no confusion, and no feeling isolated.

But as I said, I’m not a parent. I haven’t actually had to make the decisions on what content my child can see. Maybe my views would change if I did become a mother. However, I’d like to think they wouldn’t, because, although they are my child, who am I to say when they should learn what certain things are? I think it is important to ask ourselves; is filtered reality through children’s books really protecting them, or is it making it harder to understand those situations further down the line?