The Secret to Successful Self Care
This post has been living in my drafts for some time now. But after careful consideration, and my own personal behaviour over the last couple of weeks, I've decided it's important to share.
Self care comes in different forms, all depending on the person. However, I think there are lots of common misconceptions about what it entails. For example, sitting in the bath with a face mask on could be considered self care, but what really matters is the mental state beneath it, rather than the active state of participating in it.
Recently, I found myself spiralling into what I refer to as a 'rut', in which I forget that I actually need to take care of myself, and the physical aspects around me start to deteriorate. For a long time, I was good at handling this; I would clean my room, have a shower, do some exercise, eat something healthy and I would feel better.
What I didn't realise was missing was the basic interest of self care. In order to take care of yourself, you have to want to. I cleaned my room because I knew it was messy and needed cleaning, not because I knew when it was messy it made me feel bad.
The disconnect, for me, was realising that self care is not just a necessity, but it was something I deserved. I needed to realise that the way I was treating myself, mentally, was beyond unhealthy, and things needed to change. These things come in baby steps, as mentioned, cleaning my room or having a shower, but there needed to be the basic understanding beneath that that I was a good person deserving of these things.
This is why my weak attempts to make myself feel better, like spending £65 on makeup in one day, ended up doing nothing; because beneath it all, I had no actual desire to feel better. But that isn't something you can just switch on; it's an ongoing discovery and it's different for everyone.
For me, I've never been able to admit my own value. I don't see myself as anything worth preserving in particular, yet I see my friends and family as incredible people, and when they don't see what I see in them, it's impossible to see their perspective. Everybody wants what they don''t have. I think people spend too much time with themselves and tend to forget who they actually are.
I suppose I should have a vaguely positive note to end on, otherwise this was a big ironic waste of time, but all I can say is that I hope people, myself included, give themselves a break, and spend some time loving themselves and giving themselves the care they deserve.
Life is short. Why am I spending it being so miserable?
Self care comes in different forms, all depending on the person. However, I think there are lots of common misconceptions about what it entails. For example, sitting in the bath with a face mask on could be considered self care, but what really matters is the mental state beneath it, rather than the active state of participating in it.
Recently, I found myself spiralling into what I refer to as a 'rut', in which I forget that I actually need to take care of myself, and the physical aspects around me start to deteriorate. For a long time, I was good at handling this; I would clean my room, have a shower, do some exercise, eat something healthy and I would feel better.
What I didn't realise was missing was the basic interest of self care. In order to take care of yourself, you have to want to. I cleaned my room because I knew it was messy and needed cleaning, not because I knew when it was messy it made me feel bad.
The disconnect, for me, was realising that self care is not just a necessity, but it was something I deserved. I needed to realise that the way I was treating myself, mentally, was beyond unhealthy, and things needed to change. These things come in baby steps, as mentioned, cleaning my room or having a shower, but there needed to be the basic understanding beneath that that I was a good person deserving of these things.
This is why my weak attempts to make myself feel better, like spending £65 on makeup in one day, ended up doing nothing; because beneath it all, I had no actual desire to feel better. But that isn't something you can just switch on; it's an ongoing discovery and it's different for everyone.
For me, I've never been able to admit my own value. I don't see myself as anything worth preserving in particular, yet I see my friends and family as incredible people, and when they don't see what I see in them, it's impossible to see their perspective. Everybody wants what they don''t have. I think people spend too much time with themselves and tend to forget who they actually are.
I suppose I should have a vaguely positive note to end on, otherwise this was a big ironic waste of time, but all I can say is that I hope people, myself included, give themselves a break, and spend some time loving themselves and giving themselves the care they deserve.
Life is short. Why am I spending it being so miserable?
great piece of writing!
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