how to get out of a rut: a seven-step depression cheat sheet

During a recent emotional spiral, I revisited a piece of work I had put together years ago that saw me through many of my less glamorous moments. At this point, I am a seasoned veteran in the art of mental breakdowns, and subsequently, the process of healing after said breakdown. Strangely, it only just occurred to me to share my insights in hopes that others find use in them. 

Let me begin my acknowledging that I am not a trained professional. I am not a doctor or a therapist. I am just a long-time depression sufferer. I know all too well how deliciously tempting it is to nestle into the rut and make yourself a home in your sadness. To those more mentally stable amongst you, that notion might be hard to imagine, and to that I say; count yourselves lucky. When one finds themselves located in the aforementioned 'rut', the easiest of tasks can feel like a marathon to complete. Taking care of yourself isn't always an automatic process; it's a conscious choice some of us have to make. Every. Single. Day. So, for when those moments feel unbelievably heavy, feel free to refer to my cheat sheet of sorts to help you bounce back. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me. 

Step one. Hygiene. This is typically the first function to become overlooked when your mind is overwhelmed with negative thoughts. You might not even remember the last time you washed your face or your hair, but don't worry about that. That isn't helpful right now. Start small: brush your teeth. If you don't want to do that, do it anyway. Give yourself those 2 minutes. From there, a shower might not seem to daunting. And once your body is clean, it only makes sense to put some clean clothes on. Now look at yourself! You're a brand new person! If you feel like making your life easier, I'd recommend changing those bedsheets and chucking the old sheets in the wash. Even if you still can't see your bedroom floor through the piles of worn clothes, and the mountain of mugs on your desk is reaching a critical point, always prioritise the bed.

Step two. Nutrition. Now that your body is clean, it's time to fuel it. If you're a frequent guest of the rut, you're familiar with the struggles surrounding this. I myself will typically either eat nothing for far too long, or I will sustain myself on whatever ultra-processed shite I can find in my kitchen cupboards. Neither of these options is going to help you climb out of the hole. That being said, if all you have is a freezer pizza and the thought of going to ASDA is still too much to face, then by all means, bang that thing in the oven and enjoy! But sooner or later, you need something green. Something fresh. Something you already know you like. The thing about fruit and vegetables is that they do all the hard work for us; they give our bodies exactly what we need without being complicated. Alongside whatever meal you go for, drink some water. Maybe a cup of tea. Drink it slowly and focus on the feeling of it sliding down your throat and landing in your stomach. Then let your digestive system do the rest. 

Step three. Air. It's unavoidable. You need air to survive and there isn't any in the rut. Open the windows in your bedroom. Stand outside in your garden and take a few deep breaths. If you're a smoker, resist the urge to funnel those breaths through a cigarette filter. It might make you feel better for those few short moments, but it won't last. Often I reach step three and I think having a cigarette in the garden in the same thing. It isn't. Trust me, I know it sounds perfect right now. But it isn't. Just breathe some good old fashioned air. Let it hit your face and fill your lungs before slowly letting it out. By this point, you're physically reset. You're clean, you're nourished, and you're calm. 

Step four. Movement. It's really true that depression can't hit a moving target. It doesn't matter how much or how little, but you have probably been stationary for longer than you'd care to admit. Put on your shoes and leave your house. Then put one foot in front of the other and keep going. If you're feeling particularly crazy, go to the gym or go for a run. Treat yourself to those delicious endorphins! In desperate times, I've settled for a few laps of the garden or just going up and down the stairs a couple times. Like magic, your brain will thank you for the movement and you will feel better almost instantly. 

Step five. Music. Usually at this point in the process, I feel like a completely fresh, brand new person. Now I need something I enjoy; a little treat that also treats me. Time for some dopamine! I recommend noise-cancelling headphones to really pierce your eardrums, and whatever you do, don't listen to your sad playlist. I know you have one. Don't do it. It's a short cut right back to the rut, and we're so close to the exit! Listen to a song and try to think about the first time you heard it, or songs that have a particular memory attached to them. It's a fun little activity that makes me feel connected to the person I was pre-rut. You might argue that watching a comforting film or reading a book you love will do the same thing, but I challenge you to choose music over these options, because at this stage, you need to be introspective. You need an activity that doesn't require your sight, or really much of your brain. You just need to sit, and listen, and feel. 

Step six. Gratitude. At this point, you'll start feeling optimistic again. You might even think you've reached the end and you're free to go about your day. However, if you don't fully launch yourself back into life, you'll be back in the rut a lot sooner than you want to be. I like to make a list of things I'm grateful for. Cringe, I know. Sometimes I can't think of any more than 3 and sometimes I run out of paper, but it doesn't matter in the slightest. Think about the things that make your life whole, no matter how small they might seem, and take a minute to appreciate them. These are the things that matter. 

Step seven. Communication. Talk to a friend, or a loved one. Let them know how you've been feeling and ask for their support if you need it. Admittedly, I have a tendency to skip this step, which is something I'm hoping to improve on. Talking about your feelings isn't always simple but depression feeds on silence and shame and guilt; it depends on it. Even if all you manage is to tell a friend that you have had a bit of a bad day, you've done one of the hardest things for a depressed person to do. I don't necessarily believe that a problem shared is a problem halved, but talking about your feelings gets them out of your head and takes away their control over you. And if you're lucky like me, you'll have some really great people to reach out to that will help you stay as far away from the rut as you can. 

And that's it! A seven-step depression cheat sheet to reset yourself and get out of a rut. Pretty genius, right? Actually, not really. Nothing I've said is revolutionary but that doesn't mean it isn't worth saying. And trust me, following these steps doesn't mean you're cured of your issues and will never find yourself back at step one ever again. Frankly, there is no cure. Life is depressing! But in spite of everything, we have to look after ourselves. Ultimately, we are all we have.